Nya, nya, nya, nya, nyanyaaaa! I just wanted to report my most recent success in the escape department.
Shortly after my human father came home from work tonight, he fixed my screen flap, effectively preventing me from leaving the premises at will. Those of you who know me, my loyal followers, know that I wouldn't let him get away with that. So...
I waited until he had fixed the screen (again!) and put away his tools. Then I pushed as hard as I could against the screen, and eureka! I was outta there! The best part is they didn't even know what I had done. They were busy blabbing in the kitchen, not even paying attention, getting ready to cook food that they'd never share with me. And they call themselves "parents!"
I walked around the deck, sniffed those alluring flowers again, and made the plunge, diving off the deck onto the lawn. It felt like green velvet, very nice, and actually rather tasty as well. I nibbled a few blades of grass, wandered around the yard, checking out the scenery, and then I heard it... the unmistakable sound of the slider door opening. The humans had discovered the gaping opening and were searching for me.
I couldn't help it, I froze. Yes, I know this makes me a wimp, but I panicked, and stupidly looked up at them as they grabbed me in a most undignified manner and unceremoniously dumped me in the kitchen. I was having none of that, and did my best to escape, but alas, they were quicker than I was. They slammed the kitchen door and when it was reopened, what did I see? The screen was back in place. Had I realized they were going to bring tools with them, I would have put up more of a fight or given them a good bite, just to make a point.
They may think they're pretty clever, but I will do it again, and soon. The screen that can keep me in hasn't been invented yet!
I should mention that my tasty grass hors d'oeuvres made me vomit, but I managed to do that on the kitchen floor. That'll teach them!
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