Friday, October 4, 2013

I've been humiliated, mocked, and violated!

 
 
I was minding my own business today, lying on the computer desk with my svelte derrière just lightly touching the keyboard while my Human Mom #3 checked her email, when suddenly, I heard her gasp. I stretched my 20-lb frame, stood up, and looked at the screen , and what did I see?  A picture of myself wearing a banana suit! Worse, it even had the word "BANANA" emblazoned on it!
 
This picture dates from several years ago when I was younger and more trusting of the people with whom I lived in Brooklyn,  and had no idea that anyone would  take such a compromising shot of me.  When my caretaker slipped that outfit on me, I did what any cat with any dignity whatsoever would do, as you can see in the picture  ... I turned my head away and said to myself, "This can't be happening to me! If I look away, maybe no one will notice that I'm decked out in a banana suit."
 
Over the years, I outgrew the suit, and eventually forgot about the most humiliating moment of my life.  Maybe some of my readers have taken pictures of themselves in a compromising situation and might understand how I feel about this betrayal... my photo posted on the facebook page  of a person who has thousands of friends!
 
What's next, banana jokes? Don't even think about it!
 
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion?
A: Because they peel!

Q: What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A: (sing to the tune of 5th symphony): Banana..na....! Banana..na....!

Q: What do you call two banana skins?
A: A pair of slippers

  I am going to try to salvage my dignity and move forward, but I have a warning for the little lady who posted such a cruel, mocking photo of me... It may take some time, but you will regret the pain and humilation you have caused me today. I happen to know that there is a red M &M costume up in the attic of your childhood home, and  you might just find yourself bound with duct tape &  wearing that suit one of these days. Rest assured that when that happens, YOUR picture will be posted on my facebook page!
 
 
 


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