I was minding my own business today, lying on the computer desk with my svelte derrière just lightly touching the keyboard while my Human Mom #3 checked her email, when suddenly, I heard her gasp. I stretched my 20-lb frame, stood up, and looked at the screen , and what did I see? A picture of myself wearing a banana suit! Worse, it even had the word "BANANA" emblazoned on it!
This picture dates from several years ago when I was younger and more trusting of the people with whom I lived in Brooklyn, and had no idea that anyone would take such a compromising shot of me. When my caretaker slipped that outfit on me, I did what any cat with any dignity whatsoever would do, as you can see in the picture ... I turned my head away and said to myself, "This can't be happening to me! If I look away, maybe no one will notice that I'm decked out in a banana suit."
Over the years, I outgrew the suit, and eventually forgot about the most humiliating moment of my life. Maybe some of my readers have taken pictures of themselves in a compromising situation and might understand how I feel about this betrayal... my photo posted on the facebook page of a person who has thousands of friends!
What's next, banana jokes? Don't even think about it!
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion?
A: Because they peel!
Q: What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A: (sing to the tune of 5th symphony): Banana..na....! Banana..na....!
Q: What do you call two banana skins?
A: A pair of slippers
A: Because they peel!
Q: What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A: (sing to the tune of 5th symphony): Banana..na....! Banana..na....!
Q: What do you call two banana skins?
A: A pair of slippers
I am going to try to salvage my dignity and move forward, but I have a warning for the little lady who posted such a cruel, mocking photo of me... It may take some time, but you will regret the pain and humilation you have caused me today. I happen to know that there is a red M &M costume up in the attic of your childhood home, and you might just find yourself bound with duct tape & wearing that suit one of these days. Rest assured that when that happens, YOUR picture will be posted on my facebook page!
